Baby V is three weeks old today. I can’t believe how fast time has flown this time around. I remember being tired, uncomfortable and very much in recovery mode around this time for our first. I was nowhere close to walking around comfortably, let alone driving to appointments, gardening, doing minor exercises and running around behind a toddler.

I think the reason why things are a lot smoother this time is because of Aashvi. Not only is she a bundle of energy, but one cannot help but stay active around her. She is intelligent, curious and an absolute delight to be around. I deeply miss her as soon as I drop her off at school everyday, and feel so excited picking her up at the end of her day there. I cannot imagine a more happy, sweet and well rounded child.

A lot of people have asked us how A has dealt with the arrival of a new baby in the house. A little jealousy is to be expected but we haven’t seen any of it yet. Aashvi is always wanting to give her ‘baby bro’ a hug and stroke his hair. She likes to sit ‘next to mama’ whenever she sees me feed him. I often feel like an octopus at those times, juggling two kids, reading a book to one while feeding the other. 

Thoughts on having a second child

If you asked me two years ago, if I’d imagined my life to be like this, I would’ve laughed out loud. I remember telling my husband with confidence that we would never have a second kid, because of how tired I felt postpartum with our first. I also felt very behind- professionally, and thought I’d never be able to fulfill my ambition if we had another child. 

Last time, I did not use my maternity leave to read books, take courses or catch up on dental podcasts. I struggled with breastfeeding, worried about my daughter’s colic and reflux, and felt as frustrated and alone in my thoughts as any new mom does. I also experienced body image issues, and had difficulty losing the pregnancy weight. Most women go through this postpartum, and yet there is little support for it. I didn’t know what the fourth trimester was, and wasn’t prepared for it. It’s sad to see that many women will give up dreams of having more children after experiencing similar difficulties with their first. 

So, what’s changed this time around?

I suppose, a lot of things. For starters, this is not my first rodeo, my last being not very long ago. Whether it’s my physical recovery, looking for a nanny, breastfeeding mastery or diaper changes, knowing what to expect was preparation in itself. Experience is everything.

Second, with the opening of my new practice, I can’t help but be productive. I need to remain in continuous touch with my contractor, stay up to date on permits, take care of payments, and be on top of a hundred other administrative duties. There’s really no other option. In a way, the timing could not be more perfect. It would be harder to keep track of things if I had been managing a full work schedule with 2 kids. Being home at this time makes things a little easier. 

Time

Third, and this may be crazy, but I do think having more kids gives you more energy. And we are just able to naturally squeeze in more things into our lives than we did before. It’s like how when we were single, we had endless amounts of time but simply no drive. I spent most of my time in my 20s watching television and reading fiction. Now, I may not remember the last TV show or movie I watched, or the last novel I read but, I can tell you about the course on airway and the book on tongue ties I am half way through. I’m able to find time to do this while breastfeeding a newborn, despite very little sleep, and managing an active toddler. I’m not superwoman. Just a normal person who has finally understood the value of time. It took me three decades to get here. 

The other day, we were talking about our retirement accounts and I realized I just have 30 to 35 more years until I hit ‘retirement’. I never ever want to retire but the concept of retirement and being in the mid 60s made me realize I have only three decades to prove myself. That’s a relatively short time to do all the things I still want to do. I have so many big plans for the future, and have barely just started on them. It filled me with some anxiety as well as hope and excitement that there really is no waiting now. Just got to GO GO GO. 

It’s a bit of a ramble, this post. Thanks for staying. 

If you’re interested in more such rambles, there’s going to be a new website that will have my posts! I will start moving most of my professional posts on to aashvimsiles.com from now on. If you head to the website now, you’ll see that it’s active but has a lot of random stuff on it, because it’s a site under construction. My goal is to have the website up and running by the end of my maternity leave. By then, my merch will also be ready and lots of marketing events underway- which I am super excited about! And nervous. But, mostly excited. 

Hey, what a wonderful life!